Friday, May 21, 2010

Trying to Breathe

I. am in. a constant. state. of. anxiety.

I couldn't even begin to tell you why. It may be the caffeine I've been drinking, stress at work or a combination of both. I'm not really sure, but this past week I've felt like I can't breathe and I'm constantly trying to catch my breath just feel less jittery.

And I'm having nightmares too. Really strange ones about running, and over eating, and yelling at students. Ughh, even my dreams are stressful!

Maybe all of the fears I've been suppressing are surfacing and God is telling me to deal with them. Whatever it is, it's also causing A LOT of digestion problems. (And that's all I'll say about that. :) )

And here's a poem for your thoughts. May you have a belssed Friday night and in spirit, join me for a glass of wine and some down time with a loved a one. (Be still and be well)

The Justification for Infidelity is Always a Lie

I’m drowning.

This city is sucking me up.

I’m being choked by

Desire, greed, anticipation and lust.

I can’t scream.

I’m barley clawing my way around.

I want to smoke, drink and love

At leisure.

But I’m stuck.

Flipping and wigging out.

There’s a burst of sound.

An explosion of regret

That lingers in the air

As an action takes the place

Of a moral.

And I forget yet again,

What it is I’m doing.

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