Most recently it has not been easy to find joy in these small victories because I received a phone call from the doc earlier this week that could have easily sent me into a pit of depression if I had let it. So doc says that my CK levels are still up despite the rigorous meds I'm on and despite my super sincere efforts to take ALL of them EVERYDAY. (In case you forgot or don't know, CK is an enzyme in your blood that usually gets elevated when you work out and then goes back to normal, in my case if the sclero is active then my CK levels are always elevated,elevated CK levels can lead to muscle weakness and eventually damage,(muscle damage is no good in case you're wondering) like imagine if you were a marathon runner your whole life- eventually it will catch up to you.)
SO... he wants to run more blood tests because he says that it could just be an abnormality and that the elevated CK levels aren't anything to worry about since they don't seem to be going down. (Sounds like good news, right?) WELL problem is not only does he want to do blood tests he also wants to perform another EMG (Electromyography). I have had one of those before..it is NOT fun, and I am NOT looking forward to it. This is what they do:
To perform intramuscular EMG, a needle electrode or a needle containing two fine-wire electrodes is inserted through the skin into the muscle tissue. A trained professional (such as a neurologist, physiatrist, or physical therapist observes the electrical activity while inserting the electrode. The insertional activity provides valuable information about the state of the muscle and its innervating nerve. Normal muscles at rest make certain, normal electrical sounds when the needle is inserted into them. Then the electrical activity when the muscle is at rest is studied. Abnormal spontaneous activity might indicate some nerve and/or muscle damage. Then the patient is asked to contract the muscle smoothly. The shape, size, and frequency of the resulting motor unit potentials are judged. Then the electrode is retracted a few millimeters, and again the activity is analyzed until at least 10–20 units have been collected.
In short: I'm struck with pins and needles in various muscles, as I lay on a cold table while strange people poke at me and say they're sorry for over an hour.
So you see how this could have upset me...and it did, for a short while. Luckily though...the biggest news of all, that same day I got the call from the doc, I was hired by a private school to teach English! I'm super excited about my new job and I'm looking forward to starting this Thursday. It is only part-time so no stress about getting tired or taking on too much. I will still have time to write, rest, work out and focus on bettering myself.
Although I am not excited about this upcoming exam, and I'm scared of the results (because if it turns out that I DO have muscle damage, and CK is NOT just being abnormal, then meds might have to increase, or stronger meds prescribed...booo) I am looking forward to all the new things I have yet to try , like meditation, African dance yoga (this friday), and baking fun, new gluten free sweets!
I know that if I can find pleasure in the simple things, it's possible for anyone.
"If there's one thing you should believe in, it should be yourself.." (Me, and I'm sure other famous people)