Tuesday, April 5, 2011

40 Days and 40 Nights

It takes failure to appreciate success. It takes disappointment to understand happiness.

Perhaps you have been wondering why my blog entries have been so sporadic and inconsistent. That is because, thankfully my health is very stable lately. (Even if I can't say the same for my personal life)

Although I have been disappointed that I cannot try to have a baby until next year (so the doc said). It didn't make me feel like a failure because I know I have come a long way and that when the time comes, God will bless me with a beautiful, healthy child.

From my work life to my family life, I have been graced with much disappointment lately and it is because of those disappointments that I am beginning to understand what it means to be truly happy. People I once thought I could trust have betrayed me. Family that I once believed in have let me down. But I'm slowly realizing, that I am not the one that matters. They are the ones that need to be at peace with themselves, not with me. Although their circumstances and the pain they have caused me and my loved ones saddens me greatly, I will move forward with my life wishing them only the best with what how they've chosen to live.

I have been fortunate that these minor daily stresses have not had an impact on my health since I have learned many coping strategies in the last year that I am using frequently. 10-15 min of silence/meditation a day. Exercise. Water. Prayer. Laughter. Dancing and Music. And of course writing. These things along with my wonderful support system and passion for life have allowed me to continue getting better amidst all the drama.

There are many uncertain things in my future, but I know that happiness and peace is definitely in the cards. I hope and expect only the best for myself and those around me and it's not the pills or the doctor's visit that will make it so but rather my mentality, strength, perseverance and enduring faith that will bring good things to come.

Be still. Be well.

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