Charles Darwin
It's a quiet Sunday morning at the Mendez residence. Lupe and Whiskey are sound asleep next to me and even though I have a lot on my mind I am at peace. I reached several milestones in my writing career this week which I am happy to share with you all before getting to my topic of change.
Please check out my guest blog posts at www.invisibleillnessweek.com! They are revised versions of posts I've shared on here but still worth taking a look at and sharing with others.
1. I Am Too Young for this Waiting Room
2. How I'm Really Feeling (451 views and counting!)
A little background on Invisible Illness Awareness Week, it's an internationally recognized platform and website that tackles the social, mental, physical and emotional aspects of living with a chronic/invisible illness. Articles, webinars, chats, and discussion forums focus on a variety of topics to help those who suffer with these illness better cope and find hope. I found it last year after my ICU stint and it literally changed and saved my life. It's what propelled and encouraged me to quit working full time, to get back to writing, to take care of myself and to try to find a way to work from home. The site, the articles and the wonderful women on that site gave me the courage to change my life, so for me to be a part of it this year and be a contributing writing/guest blogger is a HUGE deal in my book of accomplishments. I hope to continue being able to contribute to this wonderful organization and cause and I'm incredibly proud of myself for having the courage to submit my articles and share my story.
Secondly, (because I HAVE to brag about it)...I finally finished the edits to my book! It was a daunting and scary moment when I hit the "send" button, but it's done. Now on to the next phase...will keep you posted!
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The seasons change. The time changes. People change. We change. If you said the word enough it begins to lose its meaning. It begins to sound like the restless change in your
pocket after a long day. It sticks to the roof of your mouth, jingles in the purse of your future and makes your hands stink. Most people don't like change. Most people are afraid of change. But without it, we cannot survive. I have seen relationships end and be shattered because one person changed and the other one couldn't/didn't or simply wouldn't. I have seen people lose their jobs because they couldn't keep up with the changes that were happening all around them. I have seen friends fall into a deep depression because they couldn't accept that their bodies and their lives were changing when they just wanted everything to be as it once was.
But change is inevitable. Change is necessary. But where does one begin? Where does change begin? I have found only one answer that satisfies me: When we change our mind, we can change our life. When we change A mind, we can change A life. As I've mentioned before, I have given up on changing the world, it's too stressful. Instead, I find joy and satisfaction in trying to change minds, one mind at a time.
And trust me, this is no easy task.
I am constantly struggling to change my own mind, my own negative and self-destructive thoughts.
I can't do this because...
I'm too tired to do this because...
I hate that I can't.....
Why is this happening to me again....
When will it end....
My body is broken and....
Change takes patience. Change takes practice. It does not happen over night. (While some drastic and dramatic changes CAN happen spontaneously...ie. a disabling car accident or injury) Our acceptance of change is gradual and must come from within before we can see the changes without. It is not enough to change our actions, we must change the mentality that accompanies those actions if we are to experience true growth and a real, long lasting and meaningful transformation.
It is important and necessary to change the mind first so that the rest can follow. I truly believe that all physical and even emotional ailments begin first with the mind and then manifest itself in the body and in our lives. What we think consciously and subconsciously WILL manifest itself in our bodies and/or our daily experiences. Changing our thought patterns isn't easy and it takes willpower and determination, but it can be done.
I have managed to change many things about my life in the past year including my diet, exercise regimen, fear of failure, patience, risk taking etc. But I know I still have a long way to go, it is a journey, a process, one that will never end because I know that I will continue to encounter obstacles and challenges and circumstances that will require me to adapt and change again, and again and again.
I don't know where this disease will take me, I don't know how many more ways it may change my body or my lifestyle. I know that my meds may change from one month to the next. I know that my ability to use my hands, legs, feet, mouth or body may change from one year to the next. But despite all the changes that happen to me, I know that I make those changes work for me as long as I make the mindful decision to do so.
I will accept the changes happening to my right hand by using my left hand more and being grateful that my left hand is strong enough to carry the burden.
I will accept that my thyroid isn't functioning well and take it as an opportunity to learn more about how to keep it balanced.
I will change the way I deal with my fertility issues by learning to be patient and by finding ways to mother myself while I wait for the opportunity to mother a child.
All of these things and more require attention and perseverance. It is not an easy fight, but I do want to have it all (health, a family, a career, good friends, happiness) and I know that I can have it all because it's all worth having and anything worth having, is worth fighting especially if it changes us for the better, inside and out.
