I'm Having A Moment

Here are a few things I don't understand right now. No introspection. No reflection. I just don't fucking get it.

1. Conception. Ovulation. Infertility. How or why some can have babies and others can't.
2. Women who have no business being mothers. Not the first time. Not the second, third or fourth.
3. White women who are completely unaware of their white privilege.
4. Why there are no panels at AWP on the Afro-Latino writing experience.
5. Why there is no Latino theatre group in Houston.
6. Why I know approximately only ONE other Afro-Latina writer in the ENTIRE city of Houston.
7. Why my finger is refusing to heal.
8. What the hell the doctor intends to do with this new fangled "amniotic stem cell" procedure.
9. Why I wasn't chosen for Canto Mundo.
10. Why people say: "You can't have your cake and it too." I bought it! Imma eat it!
11. How to convert my manuscript in Scrivener back into a readable well formatted Word document to send to publishers.
12. Why, if I'm submitting to a creative non-fiction/memoir contest they ask that your name not be found anywhere in the manuscript?! Um, hello...it's about ME! This is impossible.
13. Why my white friends are more supportive of my writing career than some of my own family.
14. Why my aunt is still detained in an immigration/deportation center in Laredo.
15. Why my husband insists on keeping this house so cold.
16. Where have all the cowboys gone?
17. People who refuse to understand why I don't want to meet their newborn babies.
18. Kale.
19. Why there are so many stories of white women who get divorced, become alcoholics, drug addicts, suffer depression, anxiety, feel like bad mothers, and ultimately "find their way"...but when a colored woman experiences these things or worse she's criticized and not celebrated aka published.
20. Potholes. Everywhere. Just. Potholes.

There. Rant over. Be about your business. Next week, after AWP I will have something better to share.